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Why are women called 'cougars' but men aren't?

I went out with someone 30 years my junior. It may or may not have been a date -- I assumed it was friends meeting for lunch until he insisted on giving me a backrub -- but there was no denying the age difference. When I mentioned this to my elder niece, thirtysomething, she quipped: "Aunt Laurie is such a cougar!" My friend Patrick, 65, ditto, "Cougar!" Good lord, people, a cougar isn't even my favorite cat or for that matter car. Call me a jaguar or a lion, but a cougar?
Most of us older ladies who are trying to still date don't fancy ourselves predators, which is what the name cougar implies. And most of us aren't always choosing younger or much younger men. Quite simply, men our age are often happily married and most of us aren't sinking so low as to prey on them (that would be more cougary in my book). So why call us cougar? Is it to just point out how socially unacceptable it still is to date a younger man?
My grandmother was seven years' senior to my grandfather and their marriage only ended when he passed at an early age of pancreatic cancer. It was still a bit odd for the woman to be older, but I don't think anyone gave it much mind. My grandmother was tall and "willowy" (her word) when they married; two young teachers matriculating at North Texas Teachers University when they met. Their union would create three children - my uncle Norman, a sweetheart who lived at home and was likely autistic, my uncle John who was number 1 at West Point, and my mom, who also became a teacher.
Maybe with a female president we can start to reverse the stigma that women face if we date younger men. I live for the day I can date someone 10, 20 or 30 years younger and not be the subject of gossip, laughter or disgrace. Because to be clear, if I smiled back at some 85 year-old widower on the street, no one would say of me, "Isn't she too young for you, you old cougar?" No, people would think it's just fine, and I may even be on the old side.
By Protheroe, Ernest. - https://www.flickr.com/photos/biodivlibrary/5985361932, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=48862441
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